Nov 20, 2011

My court..My rules

This is a very old piece i wrote, it's taking me time to type up my writings..bear with me this is back from early 2000..

You are the most beautiful creature i know and will ever know. You are a celestial being sent down from the heavens to sooth souls and embrace them with your warmth. Earth without you is a living hell. God blessed me with your presence and enlightened me with the thought of you. Without you, existance is simply meaningless.

Your ascendance from heaven added a sort of angelic flavour to this lifeless journey. Your mystery and ambiguous nature is like the drug that colors your aura and make people love and need to be around you. Your goodness is no act it's a flaw, and if your flaws are so devine, one can only imagine the devine characteristics that are so intoxicating and overwhelming.

How do you expect me to stay still when you enter my soul? How do you justify the fire that arouses my body with your unintentional touch? How do you kill me with thoughts of you? How do you find me when i vanish? How do you love me when you and i dont exist?

The light of the love in my heart shines like a diamond in the darkest mines,it gives me away. You move me like a river infront of a thirsty man, like an empty road and my spirit wants to dance in the emptiness. I swear to you, you compell me and take over my senses untill you sufocate me. Drawning my veins with your smell, taste, feel of you. I know who im not, yet i still dont know who i am. But i wont keep on playing the role of the damsel in distress, the role of the victim. I am a woman and that is a privilage. It is a pilar to which my world ponders around. I wont accept it anymore, i wont ALLOW it anymore, you walk in and disturb this serenity that is bestoed on me by me.

You convince me with your gentle discourse. Your sense of ellitness and intelligence fools me into you once again. You do take me for a fool but only because i would want to be your fool than not have you within me for eternity. You choke my senses untill i am numb. You have stabbed my mind, soul and heart over time with your poisonous words, yet i come back for more. For my addiction to your stillness, calmness and coldness. I shall think of you as an ice-berg that suddenly appears in the darkness that is so still,quiet and determined. Keep on abusing my dignity and you will have me and control me till the end.

I write these words, then i read them. Shocking is the context. I will fight back, as a woman i am blessed with having the lover-fighter complex. I have loved and have been hurt, now i will fight back. This court shall only have ONE MISTRESS and NO MASTER. Leave the same way you came, quickly, suddenly, and sneakingly. The difference is now it is my choice. Leave and be gone.