Stuff My Dad Says

Episode 3

Dad: don't you want some Mansaf?

Me: But dadi just had some.

Dad: But u didn't have chicken

Me: Cuz i had Mansaf.

Dad: but i got chicken WITH the Mansaf

Me: 3ashanna falastinnieh? (cuz we're falastenians?)

Dad: la2 la2ino Mashwee

Me: what? 

Dad: well you're on a diet right?

Me: NO..are u saying i'm fat?

Dad: you have a mirror, now come have chicken.

 

Episode 2

(phone rings at 4am - wakes me up..i'm at home, my dad is callin)

Me: hello?

Dad: where in God's name are you?

Me: ugh..bed?

Dad WHOOOOOOOSE BED?

Me: excuse meeee...mine

Dad: don't LIEEEEEE. %$^&^*

Me (walking calmly to his room): i'm not lying *click

Dad: heheh..tab jibili may (get me water)

-_-

Episode 1

*phone rings*

Dad: inti fain? (where are u?)

B: -_______- at work dad

Dad: aaaaaa..so ur not picking your brother up from the airport?

B: huh?

Dad: huh? is this Bana?

B: -________- yes dad..

Dad: ah so u'll be there at 9, kthxbai

B: dad..he's coming today?

Dad: just go, & if it's not today then well try tomorrow

B: -____- (contemplating killing self)

Dad: bye.