May 11, 2011

thank u for teaching me the true meaning of loss

thank u for pointing out i slipped & trusted mankind again..
i have done so; willingly & full-heartedly
& for showing me how grave my mistake was, i thank you

thank you for showing me a new meaning of cruel..for proving that people can & would sink lower, if we let them

thank you for killing my spirit a little everyday by pointing out & magnifying everything that was/is wrong with me

thank you for lying..to my face
thank you for stealing..my heart & giving it back in pieces
thank you for stomping all over my emotions & crushing my every fiber

i do not hate you..i thank you..
i do not hold a grudge..i thank you
i do not wish u harm..i thank you

i thank you for showing me the true meaning of light, by dimming mine
i thank you for showing me the worth of self-respect, by abducting mine
i thank you for showing me the true meaning of friends, by alienating mine
i thank you for showing me blood is thicker than water, by spilling mine

thank you for showing me what it's like to have nothing to lose anymore, by robbing my everything
thank you for allowing me to see the eyes of betrayal so up close - almost dressing me with them
thank you for proving that no matter how strong i thought i was..
it took a few words..a few lies.. a smile or 2 & it was all taken away

thank you most of all..for the lessons i learned, the bitterness that resides in my skin, the sourness in my mouth, the tears on my pillow, the pain in my heart, the blood spilled, the fear engraved, the scars drawn, the hurt sculpted..

thank you..u still..& always..owe me nothing in return

-B

4 comments:

  1. "Oreol Val, who takes care of newborns in one of Barcelona's hospitals, says that the first movement of the human being is an embrace. For after they exit to life, in their first days, newborns move their hands, as if they are searching for someone.

    Other doctors, who took care of people that lived long, says that the elderly, in their last days, die desiring they could raise their arms.

    This is it. No matter how much we flipped through it, no matter how much we put words to it. Simply, everything reduces to this: between two pulses of arms, without any further explanation, the journey of life expires".

    A hug for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. broke my heart to bits and pieces .... and loved reading every bit of it .... quiet bare and true.
    lovely Lady B....please
    write some more

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is a profound experience I wouldn't wish upon anyone that I know, you write with the emotion that stretches deep into the soul.

    Don't let this kill your spirit, it is the part of you that makes you stand head and shoulders above everyone else.
    Don't let this shatter your heart, your passion for all things will forever connect you with the people who matter and will openly share theirs to you.
    If there are people willing to stand by your side, you have lost nothing.
    Your strength has always been there, your independence and free thought have and will serve you well and nothing can take that away from you.

    Best Wishes
    -S

    ReplyDelete
  4. a story from better times in Baghdad
    a pimp gets in a taxi cab in the morning and says his destination to the driver. The driver shifts into gear and moves, a few minutes later 2 women signal the cab driver to stop, the pimp in the passenger seat insists and begs the driver not to stop and says he will pay for all three passengers if he just moved on. intrigued, the driver continues without picking taking the female passengers. upon getting to his destination, the pimp gives the driver triple the money he owes him, the drivers looks at the pimp and says: "i will not take money from you, i just want to know why you didn't want me to take the two women" the pimp answers: "i am a pimp, everyone in Baghdad knows me and my occupation, and if anyone saw these two women in the same cab with me, they would assume they are prostitutes, so if i had let them in the cab i would have ruined their reputations for nothing."
    the moral of this story is: when one knows they have a tainted reputation, they should stay away from honest people... at least people who have a grain of honor left in them would do that... and if the don't and knowingly endanger other people's reputations.... they deserve what they get...... you are welcome!!!! and as that note on the fridge said: "THE BEST IS YET TO COME" you can count on that ;-)

    ReplyDelete